Bob posted this comment: "I bought a house in Notting Hill. As far away from Derbyshire as possible. As I can't go back to Zimbabwe due to horrific experiences (racoon friend killed) I will stay in London, hoping to meet some other vampire. I did not meet anyone yet but I guess I'm pretty immortal so I have quite a lot of time to wait. I'll keep my identity anonymous (I know I just told the whole world I'm a vampire, however they do not know how I look like! Nom nom nom...).
I shall wait till your next helpful comment. Meanwhile, I'll go visit Delilah.
R.I.P. baby!!!!!!!!1
Bob"
Dear Bob,
I have been in Notting Hill recently as I was meeting up with a few vampire friends. There are many vampires there. I am sure you will find a mate while you are there. I'm terribly sorry to hear about all of your animal friends dying, but perhaps that is to be expected what with you being immortal and them only living a few years. I'm sure people will have trouble identifying you but I'm glad to see that grief hasn't crippled your common sense. I'm sure Delilah was a fantastic sheep and it probably will take some time to move on, but you'll manage.
Respectfully,
Dr. Rubens
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Reply to Bob's Reply to Reply to Reply
Bob posted this comment: "I broke up with my cooky making soulmate. She ate Delilah. She's a carnivore apparently! I could show her who is the REAL carnivore in the house. But I was too destressed with the death of my one and only... I feel like no one has understood me as well as that mighty young sheep... Even you, Dr Rubens! And you referred to this book "Twilight".... I hate it! It mocks everything a proud vampire has/does. I am not satifsfied. At all. This is too much for me. First, all of my friends make fun of me and do not see the masculine side of vampires 'cause they think I have a skin problem (shining in the light) and I seem to poke myself with a toothbrush - that explains the smell of blood. Goodbye, as I am off to Saskatchewan. My friend Delilah's been eaten...
Yours, the only lonely and misunderstood vampire in the world,
Bob"
Bob,
I'm so sorry to hear that you broke up with your mate. I'm sure that eating Delilah was an accident. I think my glittery friend, that is time to move on to new mates. I think that visiting London would be highly therapeutic. At the very least seek out the O'Malleys in Forks. They are a clan of vegetarian vampires. I'm sorry you don't see the good side of Twilight, but I can see your objections to the publicity of vampires. I hope for the hole in your heart to be filled.
Good Luck,
Dr Rubens
Yours, the only lonely and misunderstood vampire in the world,
Bob"
Bob,
I'm so sorry to hear that you broke up with your mate. I'm sure that eating Delilah was an accident. I think my glittery friend, that is time to move on to new mates. I think that visiting London would be highly therapeutic. At the very least seek out the O'Malleys in Forks. They are a clan of vegetarian vampires. I'm sorry you don't see the good side of Twilight, but I can see your objections to the publicity of vampires. I hope for the hole in your heart to be filled.
Good Luck,
Dr Rubens
Reply to Bob's Reply to Reply
Bob posted this comment: "Hello again. As much as I love this website, it seems like it's a joke and no one is taking me seriously. I have a very sentetive personality and please choose your words carefully. Although I can smell all of you all the way from Derbyshire - you and the keyboard, still please be carefull about your vocabulary. If I could, I would hire a phsychiatrist, but I am afraid I will be so traumatized, that I would eat him and then would be in depression for the.... for the next couple of centuries. Since I am gifted in a way that I can understand animal talk. So I made this sheep friend. I do apologise for all the details but I had to share it with someone else, since my fellow sheep friend Delilah seems to be eating. Go ahead if you think of any questions,
Toodleloo,
Bob."
Hello Bob,
I'm extremely sorry to have offended you and meant no harm. I can assure you that I take all vampire matters very seriously. I think you are wise to keep away from humans while still young. Please do not apologize for expressing your very interesting ways. Your gift is not one I have heard of before, but one quite remarkable. Please pass on my best wishes to Delilah and your mate.
Many Thanks again!
Toodleloo,
Bob."
Hello Bob,
I'm extremely sorry to have offended you and meant no harm. I can assure you that I take all vampire matters very seriously. I think you are wise to keep away from humans while still young. Please do not apologize for expressing your very interesting ways. Your gift is not one I have heard of before, but one quite remarkable. Please pass on my best wishes to Delilah and your mate.
Many Thanks again!
Reply to Tal's Reply
Tal posted this comment: "Hey again. Thank you very much for replying, Its fasinating. I also thought about what you said about hating werewolves. I was thinking and you are right. I don't have a problem with them, its just that i got a bit mad at Jacom. Its stero typing and afetr thinking it over I desided to change my mind about them."
I'm glad to see you changed your mind and like this blog.
I'm glad to see you changed your mind and like this blog.
Reply to Bob's Reply
Bob posted this comment: "Thank you Dr, Rubens, I really appreciate and need your support. ALthough I have no idea why I am telling you all of this, since with all my respect, you'll b dead in a couple of centuries anyways. I am French, but I have always lived in Zimbabwe - which explains why I speak English. Yes, those men let me down, they fail to see the masculine side of being a vampire. Trust me, its hard! Oh I did find a soulmate in England. But I found her in Derbyshire. She makes cookies. Although she is a human being, I take the responsobility to protect her and so far, failed to eat her, so I guess I'll be fine.
Thanks for the wishes, in return for you support, I can answer any questions as long as they aren't too private (about my lifestyle).
Cheers,
Bob van Brown"
I'm very grateful for your insight on being a vampire today. I don't mind at all being dead as I've already led a full life and hopefully will be around for 40 more years! Your English is very good, and maybe if you talk to your friends about the strength and speed that comes with being a vampire they will be more forgiving. I'm so glad you found a mate in Derbyshire. I have heard it's great for hunting sheep. As a French vampire I suppose that you eat food with more pleasure than the Irish ones. I hope that you continue to preserve your mate's life, and perhaps open up to her to relieve some of your stress. I can think of no questions at the present time as my research was quite thorough, but I will be sure to think of you if I can think of any queries.
Thank you!
Thanks for the wishes, in return for you support, I can answer any questions as long as they aren't too private (about my lifestyle).
Cheers,
Bob van Brown"
I'm very grateful for your insight on being a vampire today. I don't mind at all being dead as I've already led a full life and hopefully will be around for 40 more years! Your English is very good, and maybe if you talk to your friends about the strength and speed that comes with being a vampire they will be more forgiving. I'm so glad you found a mate in Derbyshire. I have heard it's great for hunting sheep. As a French vampire I suppose that you eat food with more pleasure than the Irish ones. I hope that you continue to preserve your mate's life, and perhaps open up to her to relieve some of your stress. I can think of no questions at the present time as my research was quite thorough, but I will be sure to think of you if I can think of any queries.
Thank you!
Reply to Bob
Bob posted this comment: "Dr Rubens,
You have no idea how much this motivated me! I have a similar problem to the user's before me - my guy friends don't understand me and make fun of me for pretending to be someone which they think i'm not. However, there is a reason for that. I accept the consequences of what is going to follow this. I am a vampire. I am a newborn, but since we live in the 21st century, I have been able to a)keep it a secret b) get all the help I could get while avoiding publicity. Finally I've met someone who takes me seriously! Yes, I dare to say this! I! Am! A! Vampire!"
Hello Bob,
I'm glad to have had such an impact on someone. I assume you are a French vampire as you told humans about yourself. I think it's cruel how men can be so harsh on their friends. Have you considered finding yourself a mate? I suggest travelling to London as there are many vampires there. I admire you for undertaking the hardships of keeping anonymity in a modern environment, and keeping vegetarian as a newborn. I hope you an eternity of happiness and that you adjust to this new lifestyle.
You have no idea how much this motivated me! I have a similar problem to the user's before me - my guy friends don't understand me and make fun of me for pretending to be someone which they think i'm not. However, there is a reason for that. I accept the consequences of what is going to follow this. I am a vampire. I am a newborn, but since we live in the 21st century, I have been able to a)keep it a secret b) get all the help I could get while avoiding publicity. Finally I've met someone who takes me seriously! Yes, I dare to say this! I! Am! A! Vampire!"
Hello Bob,
I'm glad to have had such an impact on someone. I assume you are a French vampire as you told humans about yourself. I think it's cruel how men can be so harsh on their friends. Have you considered finding yourself a mate? I suggest travelling to London as there are many vampires there. I admire you for undertaking the hardships of keeping anonymity in a modern environment, and keeping vegetarian as a newborn. I hope you an eternity of happiness and that you adjust to this new lifestyle.
Reply to Tal
Tal posted this comment: "Hello. You're the first person I've talked to who belives in vampires. It's taken a while! I too believe they exist. My friends think I'm a freak. I hate werewolves. Do they exist?
Are you a fan of Twilight? What made you start investigating?
Thank you!"
Hello Tal. It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear that your friends don't believe you, but if they really thought you were a freak they wouldn't be your friends. I had similar problems with my human friends too, and although we have some differences, they have stayed friends.
Your question about werewolves is a good one. The Children of The Moon used to exist long long ago, but they were killed by the Volterri completely. The shape shifters like the ones in Twilight do exist. The most common type of shape shifter is when a human changes into the shape of a wolf, but there have been cases where the shape shifter takes the shape of a bat. This happens when a hybrid like Renesmee mates with a werewolf like Jacob before the female has reached a physical age of 17 and stops changing. If she has a baby she gives birth to a vampire with the ability to change into a bat. This is where the myth about all vampires being able to turn into bats started.
I'm sorry to hear that you don't like werewolves. I'm guessing that you are Team Edward. Although I agree that Bella belongs to Edward, I think that Jacob proves in the 4th book that he is a nice person. I think that you cannot say something like "I hate werewolves" based on the actions of one individual that you haven't met before. It would be like saying "I hate all people from ____." Racist, right?
I am a fan of twilight and I began my studies in 2006. The university that had been employing me to teach students about myths and legends ran into financial troubles and was forced to fire me. Shortly after this my father died leaving the money to me. Using this money I decided to investigate the truth behind Twilight as I had thought that the book was much to complex to arrive in the shape of a dream. My studies proved to be very useful!
Are you a fan of Twilight? What made you start investigating?
Thank you!"
Hello Tal. It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear that your friends don't believe you, but if they really thought you were a freak they wouldn't be your friends. I had similar problems with my human friends too, and although we have some differences, they have stayed friends.
Your question about werewolves is a good one. The Children of The Moon used to exist long long ago, but they were killed by the Volterri completely. The shape shifters like the ones in Twilight do exist. The most common type of shape shifter is when a human changes into the shape of a wolf, but there have been cases where the shape shifter takes the shape of a bat. This happens when a hybrid like Renesmee mates with a werewolf like Jacob before the female has reached a physical age of 17 and stops changing. If she has a baby she gives birth to a vampire with the ability to change into a bat. This is where the myth about all vampires being able to turn into bats started.
I'm sorry to hear that you don't like werewolves. I'm guessing that you are Team Edward. Although I agree that Bella belongs to Edward, I think that Jacob proves in the 4th book that he is a nice person. I think that you cannot say something like "I hate werewolves" based on the actions of one individual that you haven't met before. It would be like saying "I hate all people from ____." Racist, right?
I am a fan of twilight and I began my studies in 2006. The university that had been employing me to teach students about myths and legends ran into financial troubles and was forced to fire me. Shortly after this my father died leaving the money to me. Using this money I decided to investigate the truth behind Twilight as I had thought that the book was much to complex to arrive in the shape of a dream. My studies proved to be very useful!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Introduction to Vampires
This blog is being written to inform people about vampires. After extensive research on the matter I have decided that the vampires that Stephenie Meyer describes in her Twilight Saga series is the most plausible theory. The following blog entries reflect my theories and opinions and not hard facts.
Vampires are traditionally thought of as pale men or women living in old ruins of towers and castles. They dissolve in sunlight and cannot come near garlic or enter a house uninvited. They turn into bats at will, seduce the other sex before sucking their blood via the holes in the neck they make with their abnormally large teeth. I have found no evidence that these stories are anything but that- stories. It is nearly impossible to describe all the traits of a true vampire because there are many different types.
Stephenie Meyer writes about the Cullens, a group of Irish vampires. They are not actually Irish. It is merely the type of "breed" a vampire is. With dogs you can have Labradors or Pugs or Poodles. It is the same with vampires. 85% of the world's vampires are Irish. These vampires have pale, diamond like skin that glitters under direct sunlight. They are without fail beautiful. Their skin is rock hard and impenetrable.
French vampires make up 10% of the worlds vampires and they have some more human like qualities. Their skin although impenetrable is soft to touch. To fit in with humans they have adapted so the venom floods to their cheek giving the appearance of colour and blush. They aren't so impossibly beautiful and overall share many traits with an Irish vampire and human cross. The vegetarian vampires (see below) fit into the human world much better then the Irish ones and are constantly being tempted to reveal their true nature to their close human friends. It is relatively common for this to happen, but nearly always the vampire tells the human that it was a prank.
The remaining 5% of the world's vampires is shared between about 20 types of vampires. All of the vampires regardless of breed are super strong and fast. They mostly feed on human blood, although recently a few have traded their crueller diet for one of animals. If a vampire feeds on humans, their eyes will shine crimson. The "vegetarians" or ones that feed only on animal blood's eyes will be golden. The thirstier a vampire is, the darker their eyes will be. French vampire's eyes are always quite a bit darker than those on an Irish vampire.
Please feel free to comment with your theories or any questions concerning vampires.
Vampires are traditionally thought of as pale men or women living in old ruins of towers and castles. They dissolve in sunlight and cannot come near garlic or enter a house uninvited. They turn into bats at will, seduce the other sex before sucking their blood via the holes in the neck they make with their abnormally large teeth. I have found no evidence that these stories are anything but that- stories. It is nearly impossible to describe all the traits of a true vampire because there are many different types.
Stephenie Meyer writes about the Cullens, a group of Irish vampires. They are not actually Irish. It is merely the type of "breed" a vampire is. With dogs you can have Labradors or Pugs or Poodles. It is the same with vampires. 85% of the world's vampires are Irish. These vampires have pale, diamond like skin that glitters under direct sunlight. They are without fail beautiful. Their skin is rock hard and impenetrable.
French vampires make up 10% of the worlds vampires and they have some more human like qualities. Their skin although impenetrable is soft to touch. To fit in with humans they have adapted so the venom floods to their cheek giving the appearance of colour and blush. They aren't so impossibly beautiful and overall share many traits with an Irish vampire and human cross. The vegetarian vampires (see below) fit into the human world much better then the Irish ones and are constantly being tempted to reveal their true nature to their close human friends. It is relatively common for this to happen, but nearly always the vampire tells the human that it was a prank.
The remaining 5% of the world's vampires is shared between about 20 types of vampires. All of the vampires regardless of breed are super strong and fast. They mostly feed on human blood, although recently a few have traded their crueller diet for one of animals. If a vampire feeds on humans, their eyes will shine crimson. The "vegetarians" or ones that feed only on animal blood's eyes will be golden. The thirstier a vampire is, the darker their eyes will be. French vampire's eyes are always quite a bit darker than those on an Irish vampire.
Please feel free to comment with your theories or any questions concerning vampires.
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